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Dogs and Cats Pet Care and Advice plus Wild Animals.

Small Female Dog Tries To Hump Large Male Dog

8/21/2016

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All dog owners, dogs and the common joe know how dog's make little puppies. But apparently my little female shipoo has it all mixed up.
Female Dog Humps Male Dog
Female dog Humping Male dog
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My Dog Sent Out His Resume

5/2/2016

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Cover Letter

The Factory Operator
Doggy Treats and Snacks Ltd
14 Chow Down Place
Texas

Dear Factory Worker,
I would like to be employed in your fine doggy establishment as a doggy treat tester and taster. I have had many dog years of experience in this department as my owner has bought me several treats over my lifetime. Because of my experience as a treat eater, treats which i have rejected is discarded by my owner and those same treats do not do that well on the market. I can assure you, with my special treat sampling ability i will be one of the greatest  asset to your delicious establishment.  I look forward to chowing down....er...I mean sampling your treats. Please see following Resume.

Barkingly
Albert The Dog
Albert Drool Poo
2 Bark Alley, Florida.       Email:[email protected],      Contact:555-5555
Experience
House Pet - 2010-Present
Barking at the mailman hoping one day to give him a few nibbles.  Good slippers chewer. Chews on owners favorite slippers.  Digs up the yard to bury stuff or simply to lie in to cool off.  Eat the best tasting treats and Dog foods provided to me. Mark my scent on the tomato plants in the back yard. Provide fun and enjoyment for the entire family.

Qualifications
Home Pet Training
Trained to sit, stop, roll over, fetch and many other commands, most of which i ignore because i think my owner is lazy and go pick up his own newspaper.
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Farmer Joe's Dog Named Git

4/9/2016

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"Farmer Joe raised carrots, corn and beans
He loved his straw hat and his washed out blue jeans
He live alone with a dog he called git
But was so frustrated every-time he called the dog it would split
Farmer Joe threatened to give the dog away
Because when he called his dog he simply ran away
But someone told him about a man who could train his dog well
So he hired him because he thought it was swell
So the trainer arrived and saw farmer Joe running away some crows
"Git, Git, Git going you vermin" let my corn grow

The dog trainer asked, "Isn't Git the name of your dog Mr Joe?"
"Now i see why when you call your dog instead of coming, he Goes"
"The dog thinks you are running him away because you say "Git" when you run away the crows"
"You had better change your dog's name if you want him to stay close"
"Bless you young fella, i will come up with a new name for him now"
"Tomorrow maybe, if my old bones allow"
So the next morning farmer Joe arose with a new name for his pet dog Git
He decided to call him split

Now the pesky teenagers were back making fun of farmer Joe
And he drew his fork and ran to the door
Split, Git, Split you pesky fools
Now out rushed his Dog, who ran away with the pesky teens, and all his dog left was his drools
Now farmer Joe was sad and decided to get a new Dog, he called him Scram!
Now the crows are back!
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5 Reasons Your Dog Will Be Upset With You

4/2/2016

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Have you ever seen a pooch with attitude? Well, in all my time that i have been pooching around, i can tell you that your dog does get angry at you sometimes and will give you the doggy cold shoulder, it may not last as long as when a human does it because Dogs just don't know how to hold a grudge, it's not in them, they just protest for a while and later on end up licking your face, begging to be petted and simply cuddling beside you.  So here are the top five reasons your dog may just give you the cold shoulder.
  1. You Changed Their Favorite Food
    What! No you did not! Hey, you can't just go around changing your dog's favorite food and thing that things will just be all good between you and your doggy pal. How would you like to be expecting a nice bowl of mac and cheese only to be served mac and butter? Your dogs do have a taste and do prefer the taste of some dog food over another. The  dog will give you the cold shoulder by simply walking away from his filled food bowl and go mope. When you call him he will just sit there staring at you until he gets back his favorite chow. Lesson to be learned, consult your dog before changing his food.

  2. Replaced His Favorite Toy
    After years of chewing on Mr. Dumbles, you finally decide that Mr. Dumbles needs to be changed with a new toy. You take away Mr. Dumbles and replace it with a dandy fancy spinning gadget. Your dog looks at it and boxes it away with his paw and goes in a frenzy trying to find his favorite toy to chew on, Mr. Dumbles. He cannot find his toy and comes running to you barking, in his own language, he is asking what the heck have you done with Mr, Dumbles. You confess that you have dumped Mr. Dumbles and has replaced it with a shiny spinnig toy. Your pooch mopes and walks away, giving you the cold shoulder for ridding him of his favorite toy.

  3. He Want's To Keep Dirty
    If you have a dog that simply hates when it's bath time you can rest assured that he will do everything possible not to take one. He will run, bark, hide and even play opossum if he has to. Once he sees you doing all the prepping for the bath, getting his shampoo, brush and towel, he knows what's up and no matter how you try to get him to come, he will never go to you. Not even doggy treats will work, he will look at you pitiful and simply give you a cold shoulder.

  4. You Will Not Let Him Chow On The Post Man
    I have no idea why dogs seem to have a thing for the postal service. It is as though there is a doggy headquarters somewhere sending out subliminal messages to dogs across the would telling them to look out for anyone placing mails in the mail box and go get them. Dogs hate when their owners call them away from a good mailman chase. Your dog will be very upset that you did not make him complete his mission.

  5. You Interrupted His Puppy Making Time
    So you have dogs that are not neutered. Well, guess what, they will do what all animals do to keep their species going. They will mate and reproduce. You can't see your dogs going at it and then telling them no mating and getting in between all that doggy action. N one likes to be interrupted when they are shooting rockets and erupting volcanoes. I am sure your dog will be pretty mad at you and may just not bark at you for days.


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Dog Having Chinese Funny MEME

3/29/2016

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Dog Having Chinese

Dog Eating Chinese
Dog Eating Chinese
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10 funniest Dog Jokes

3/29/2016

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1. Why did the dog cross the road?
To get t the Barking lot.

2. What do you get on a sunny day while walking your dog?
A Hot Dog.

3. Which Animal Keeps The Best Time?
A Watch Dog

4. Which Pants have no zipper, no waste, no pocket and no legs?
A Dog Pants.

5. Why did the Dog slap the Vet?
He called her a bitch.

6. Why did the dog run away from the farm?
Because he had Fleas.

7. Which Dog loves to takes bubble bath?
A shampoodle

8. Which Markets dogs will never go to?
A flea market

9. Which dog is half beef, half dog?
A bull dog

10. Why do Dogs love trees?
They Both have barks
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You Can't Teach An Old Dog To Fly (Dog Joke)

3/29/2016

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A woman called our airline 
customer-service desk asking if she could take her dog on board.“Sure,” I said, “as long as you provide your own kennel.” I further explained that the kennel needed to be large enough for the dog to stand up, sit down, turn around, and roll over.
The customer was flummoxed: 
“I’ll never be able to teach him all of that by tomorrow!”

Source:http://www.rd.com/jokes/dog/

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Clive Williams is an Animal Enthusiast and the father of two dogs, Nica and Venom.
  • Home
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  • Animal Cloning
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  • Pets in General
    • Pet Owners And How Their Health Affects Their Pets
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  • Extinct Animals
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